how do mermaids have babies
do you think the people who play teletubbies feel horny on set sometimes
why didn’t tarzan have a beard
how many things are there
why
(Source: slutcentre, via iwonderificanfitinthatdryer)
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
So we’re just gonna walk around pretending it’s not weird that one of our hands is just worse at everything?
(Source: bumpuff, via iwonderificanfitinthatdryer)
(Source: insto, via samwilleatyouz)
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
(via cj-sewers)
(Source: crymeadiamond, via imatramp)
